Normally I blog about my gorgeous family and how perfect my life is with them...and how happy I am all the time to be a mom. Today is not one of those days. Today I'm defeated and deflated. I carry my "mom" title loosely. Today the wind is out of my sails.

For the past couple of weeks Reece has wanted nothing to do with me. For some, this may be a blessing, a sign of independence, a right of passage, or even "the terrible twos". What used to be calm, peaceful, fun evenings have been replaced by tantrums and fights...and he's not the only one that is crying...tonight I am, too. What used to be a bedtime routine full of "one more kiss, Mommy", several "love you hunny bunnies", back rubs, hugs, and bedtime chats have become "get out of my room, i no like you". It's hurtful and I'm hurt.

Everyone I've talked to says "it's a phase", but I thought kids went through this phase when they were teenagers. Before I know it, he's going to ask me to drop him off at daycare instead of walking him in. I hate feeling like this, and I hope everyone is right.

What can I do to make him even respond to my voice? Punish him when he doesn't listen? Have him spend the precious 3 hours a day (now that school has started again) in his room tantruming? We've tried switching up bedtime so I have more time with him. That worked one night but not again. We tried letting Daddy be on Chase duty so I could spend tubby time with Reece. That worked for a second until he got out and went running to Daddy. I know I shouldn't be letting this bother me so much, but it does.

I look at the picture in this post and think back to the times when he needed me for everything, and didn't know any better. I wish I could get those precious moments back on nights like tonight, but I know that with time more independence is coming. So, for now, as I put Chase to bed tonight I hugged him and rocked him a little longer because I know these days will be gone in an instant.


Bootstrap Mama said...

Awe, crap! Now I'm crying. Hang in there...S was anti-mommy for a bit. He's starting to come around a bit more. Just keep reassuring him of your love for him and keep pushing to do those mommy things he doesn't want you to do right now. He'll come around again. I promise!! XOXO

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I am a mother,a wife, and a National Board Certified Art Teacher. My family is my love and photography is my passion!

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